My New Year’s Resolutions


At the start of each new year for the last twenty to twenty-five years, I have made the same two resolutions: to be on time and to lose weight.

Since I am almost never on time and since I keep gaining weight, I think that one of the following conclusions can be drawn from this repetitive cycle: (1) I have no willpower or persistence whatsoever; (2) I need to practice some reverse psychology on myself; or (3) I am purposely failing to make good on these resolutions because, if not for these two major personal failings, I am afraid that I might be “too perfect.”

Actually, about five years ago, I added a third resolution—to try to be at least a little nicer.

I have had no more success in making good on that resolution than on the other two.

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